Hey guys

I saw yalls ad in The Paisano a while back and I didn't think I needed much in the way of advice then, but that was then and this is now. Anyway, my problem is that I'm in a bit of a love rut. I met a girl a while back, and we had been dating for quite a few months. It's been a really rocky road (her favorite ice cream by the way) but we were still totally smitten with each other and very much in love. We recently broke up after one of our all to frequent arguments and have had little contact with each other since. It's been rough to say the least, but like the song says, " if it ain't rough then it just ain't no fun". The thing is that now that we're apart, I kind of feel like I didn't know her as well as I thought. She was extremely secretive about her past and past relationships and got easily annoyed when I brought it up. In the several months that we dated we spent a lot of time together, but I never once went to her home. All of this made me very uncomfortable, but I stuck it out because I thought it would change. It never did. Our last argument was just the straw that broke the camel's back I guess. I miss her a lot, but I don't know if I should keep trying or if it's even possible.

Bee: Dear Pissed Off Lover,
We are sorry that you are having to go through this. While I am glad that you are at least thinking about the future, it may be a good idea, to talk to your girl about this. Have you thought that maybe she is being secretive about her past relationship because it definitely a subject she does not want to bring up?

Lee: Hey, POL (pissed off lover) I would like to elaborate on Bee's comment. She's right, maybe she does not want to bring it up because that relationship might have been pretty traumatic. She may love you a lot and even though the relationship involves the two of you, she may not want to share that type of pain with you. Anyway, you know how you guys are, always wanting to fix situations when that's not really what is needed. Look, POL, if you really think this relationship is worth it and don't want to lose her you need to talk to her and ask her if she really wants you back. The both of you need to value and appreciate each other and for that you both also need to know that during arguments usually both are right AND wrong. Compromise. Make her meet you half way. But also be responsible enough to admit faults and say "sorry". Maybe the more you pushed the subject, the farther she drove those issues away. If you know that she really loves you, you know you can trust her and in the end you will look back and think "wow, this was really worth it." Actually, POL, I have a feeling she loves you very much, and I have a strong feeling you love her a lot as well, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to salvage it by writing to us. Just be patient. And since you're one to quote songs, have you heard the one that says "Tell me, are you patient, understanding? 'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I've tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me. Baby, this situation's driving me crazy. And I really wanna be your lady, but the one before you left me so damaged..." and if you don't, it's Damaged by Danity Kane. Listen to it.

P.S.- your girl would really like it if you surprised her with some of that ice cream. It would be like laughing at the bad times during the rocky road and knowing you have each other all the way to the end, and we mean the end of the pint of ice cream and the end of yalls rocky road and starting a more paved one from that point onwards.


email us at:
leeandbee.utsa@gmail.com

Lee & Bee,

I have two issues, one I am graduating this semester, but don't really want to leave and two, I do not know if I should go to grad school. Let me explain, don't get me wrong, I am super happy to be graduating but I feel like I can still learn so much more. Question two ties in here: is grad school really worth the price if really and truly it is not needed to "make it" out in the real world? I've heard that it becomes handy in some fields like the sciences, but I would like to get mine in creative writing. Sometimes it's like I don't want to graduate but at the same time I just want to step out and become an adult with a career. What advice do you have for me?

Thanks,
Confused Senior

Dear Confused Senior,

First of all, CONGRATS on graduating!
We totally know where you are coming from. Both of us have had this exact conversation as well (and I bet we're not the only ones!) We know it is frustrating to feel that your brain can absorb so much more, and it can! We are glad that you have the type of attitude, where you feel you need to learn as much as you can. We do have to say though, wouldn't you be interested in taking the next step of your education? While we do believe it is a good idea to continue your education, we can relate to the frustration you are feeling as well. This is what we would do: Take out a piece of paper, write down your reasons for wanting to stay in school and your reasons for not, then do your research. Even though graduate school is expensive, there are tons of scholarships that schools are offering. Unfortunately though, either students don't know about them, or they just don't think they can get one, but it never hurts to try. So, creative writing huh? Interesting. Here is something else you can do: take a walk to Dr. Norma Cantu's office, her office is in MB 2.306D. If you need reasons why to go to graduate school, go talk to her! Another thing you can do is maybe take a break. Maybe deep down inside you do want your master's degree, but dread the idea of going to school for longer and harder classes. Another suggestion is to research different schools in and out of state and inform yourself on the offered programs. just because you look it does not mean you have to go precisely to that school. While you may be confused, everything will fall into place, don't you worry! Just remember, you don't need to have a degree to be a good writer, you just need an imagination and a goal.

email us at:
leeandbee.utsa@gmail.com

Hey guys! First of all I'd like to say how great it is to have something in The Paisano that lets us who read it interact with the writers. It'd be nice to see you guys stick around. Now lets see what you guys can do to HELP ME! I've long been a fan of the written word and was even a staff writer for The Ranger at SAC. I'm a junior majoring in American Studies< and I was hoping to persue a career in journalism after graduation. My problem (and many others as well) is that newspapers are dropping like flies! The San Antonio Express had to let go of 15% of their staff, and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. I really want to keep my career goals, but I don't know if it's such a good idea anymore. What should I do?

Sincerly,

Constant Reader

Dear Constant Reader,

We can understand your stressful situation and believe me you are not the only student to be thinking about this very topic! While we definitely think that you should keep your career goals, it would be very smart to get your foot in the door. You can do this by talking to those in the newspaper industry and asking them what they would do if they are given their pink slip. We would suggest exploring your creativity by taking creative writing classes or exploring communication classes, since these will better equip you for the writing industry. Another option is marketing, or becoming a publicist for a company: these two careers are always in need for great communicators. It's really important though to remember that no matter what, you need to do what makes you happy. We hope this helped!

- Lee & Bee

Ask us anything!
leebee.utsa@gmail.com